I know what you’re thinking: “Of course we believe you, Trouble Thinking, because you do nothing but spit hot truth.” Thank you for that, I appreciate it. “But who the fuck is James O’Keefe?”
Right. Even if you were following the election last year with the sort of fervent intensity you usually devote to pornography, you may have missed this asshole. James O’Keefe is the man who said that he dressed as a pimp and asked workers at several ACORN offices to help him figure out how to get tax breaks for his underage hookers while taping the conversations. The ACORN workers, in many cases, seemed eager to give advice about sleazy legal tricks O’Keefe could pull. ACORN is a decentralized community assistance/get-out-the-vote organization that generally works with under-privileged groups, and it surprised a lot of people that they were so eager to help the most comically fresh-faced and uptight pimp in the world get more money out of his no doubt multitudinous bitches.
In the ensuing shitstorm, ACORN was roundly criticized, O’Keefe was hailed as a groundbreaking citizen journalist, and eventually the Senate pulled the plug on ACORN’s funding. Which makes the fact that it was an outright fraud more than a little bit annoying. The Brooklyn office of ACORN, one of those implicated in the videos, was recently cleared of any criminal wrongdoing when the Brooklyn DA determined that the videos showing them assisting Pimpy O’Keefe were doctored in order to make ACORN look comically evil instead of simply being far too willing to talk to random Young Republican jackasses with suspiciously gigantic hand-bags.
The ACORN Brooklyn office’s funding has since been restored, as a New York judge determined that the federal government was not actually allowed to remove funding from a single named organization in the complete absence of a trial or even any particular reason beyond the fact that they felt like doing something cool. James O’Keefe has since been arrested for trying to do more Daring Citizen Journalism Sorta while attempting to bug the phones of Democratic senator, Mary Landrieu of New Orleans. Being as that fucking with basically anything a senator has touched recently is a federal crime, he may have bit off slightly more than he can chew.