Trouble Thinking

April 14, 2010

A Brief Biography of John Jameson: Astronaut

Filed under: Comics — Tags: , , , , , — Durandal @ 7:40 pm

Hero Astronaut Col. John Jameson, son of famed newspaper publisher J. Jonah Jameson, has had a complicated career.

*During his first space flight, his return capsule had a catastrophic failure. Luckily, Spider-Man was able to rescue him by replacing a guidance module on the plummeting space capsule mid-flight.

*During his second space flight, he came into contact with the Jupiter Spores, microscopic alien life forms which granted him super-strength. He was given a special super-suit to control his strength. Unfortunately, the spores also increased his size to unwieldy levels and enhanced his aggression. During a fight with Spider-Man (orchestrated by his father), John was electrocuted. Electrocution killed off the Jupiter Spores, but left John normal and unharmed.

Astronaut Business

*During his third space flight, Jameson landed on the moon. While there, he acquired a strange glowing ruby, which he then felt compelled to steal from NASA and turn into a pendant. The consequences were predictable.

Space crime pays, but it pays oddly.

After months of intermittent rampages as the savage Man-wolf, Jameson eventually managed to throw off his lupine berserker persona. Unfortunately, a run-in with Morbius, the Living Vampire, turned him into Man-wolf again. He eventually made his way to Georgia, where he helped fight a clone of Hitler who could control minds. This put him in good with the government again (he had been considered AWOL), and he was told all charges would be dropped if he assisted an investigation of the breakdown of communication between NASA and an orbiting space station.

*During his fourth spaceflight, Jameson became the lupine demigod Stargod. He entered a portal on the moon to The Other Realm. Fulfilling the prophecies, Jameson defeated the tyrant Arisen Tyrk .

Stargod Business

Upon returning to earth the Godstone disintegrated, leaving Jameson Human once again. He then became employed as Captain America’s personal quinjet pilot and van driver. When in the Quinjet he went by the callsign “Skywolf”. When in the van he went by the callsign “Vanwolf”. He was briefly possessed by an alien symbiote that wanted to kill Spider-Man.

But then, who HASN'T that happened to?

Later, Jameson married the voluptuous emerald beauty Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk), only to find their love was for the most part an illusion manufactured by a well meaning but creepy Eros, New God of Love.

He has since decided to become Stargod again full time. John Jameson: Son, Astronaut, Hero, Lupine Berserker, Stargod, Evil Alien, Hero Again, Stargod Again.

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