Trouble Thinking

April 23, 2010

So You Saw Kick-Ass

Filed under: Movies — Durandal @ 3:24 pm

Did you think “well, no one is actually that dumb, right”? Or maybe copy the exact “why is no one a superhero?” conversation from the movie wholesale with your friends, then giggle a bit and high-five?

Check out the World Superhero Registry.

Kick Ass has nothing on the dozens of actual for-real real-life superheroes.

I think the most amazing part is how many people managed to get an even worse costume than a green/yellow SCUBA suit.

Like this dude:

Go ahead, guess his name.

And yeah, these people really, really do walk around and patrol for crime.

This actually happened.

So it turns out that the reason no one is a superhero for real isn’t because you’d get killed, or it’s too hard, or no one is tough enough. It’s because being a real-life superhero is incredibly lame.

In the end, only one of these brave people is of any practical use to the average citizen: Angle Grinder Man. He uses an angle grinder, you see. To cut the Boot off your car, if you’ve been parking illegally. It’s not technically “crime-fighting”, so I guess he’s technically a real-life super villain. But that doesn’t make him any less welcome a sight when you come out of the bar to find that the police disagree with you about how you can totally park here so long as it’s after ten. Real-life superheroes are so lame even the villains aren’t doing it right.


Also of note: like one guy on that page looks like he works out more than once a week. Why is that never the first thing people think of when they decide to go out looking for punches late at night as a hobby?

1 Comment »

  1. Tagging this post under “uncategorized” is a testament to your laziness and/or crippling indecision when it comes to organizing items into like groupings.

    Comment by callmegeo — April 25, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

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