Did you think “well, no one is actually that dumb, right”? Or maybe copy the exact “why is no one a superhero?” conversation from the movie wholesale with your friends, then giggle a bit and high-five?
Check out the World Superhero Registry.
Kick Ass has nothing on the dozens of actual for-real real-life superheroes.
I think the most amazing part is how many people managed to get an even worse costume than a green/yellow SCUBA suit.
Like this dude:
And yeah, these people really, really do walk around and patrol for crime.
So it turns out that the reason no one is a superhero for real isn’t because you’d get killed, or it’s too hard, or no one is tough enough. It’s because being a real-life superhero is incredibly lame.
In the end, only one of these brave people is of any practical use to the average citizen: Angle Grinder Man. He uses an angle grinder, you see. To cut the Boot off your car, if you’ve been parking illegally. It’s not technically “crime-fighting”, so I guess he’s technically a real-life super villain. But that doesn’t make him any less welcome a sight when you come out of the bar to find that the police disagree with you about how you can totally park here so long as it’s after ten. Real-life superheroes are so lame even the villains aren’t doing it right.
Also of note: like one guy on that page looks like he works out more than once a week. Why is that never the first thing people think of when they decide to go out looking for punches late at night as a hobby?