You’re sitting around wondering why you feel so low-down, aren’t you? Why the world seems to have lost all color slowly, and your favorite foods turn to ash in your mouth?
I have something that will fix that.
Do you wonder why you can barely do kung-fu and when you do hardly any suckers fly out a plate-glass window into the street?
I told you I can fix that.
Black Dynamite is a movie, it’s a movie you most likely did not see because it was too excellent for most theaters. Unfortunately, not seeing this piece of cinemaphonic excellence makes life into a cascade of colorless calamity. You owe it to yourself, your friends, your family, your sweet little puppy dog to go out and buy the living hell out of this film. It is equal parts comedy, action, and manual for a better life.
I give you my personal guarantee that by the end of this film, you will be an inch taller and your hair will be more full and silky. By the end of this film you will be able to run farther and jump higher. By the end of this film I guarantee you will be able to wear sunglasses inside and no one will question it because you will look too damn hip.
Black Dynamite will treat you right.