Trouble Thinking

October 11, 2010

The Continuing Campaign to Crush Small Business in America, Brought to You by Taco Bell

Filed under: TV — Tags: , , — Chris @ 2:09 pm

I know that I just wrote about how I don’t like YouTube, but if we can move past my neuroses and rampant hypocrisies for a moment, I’d like to discuss a certain ad campaign Taco Bell has been running recently.

Now as far as I’m aware, Taco Bell is a pretty big company. Does it strike anyone else as a bit excessive to be picking on this poor sandwich lady? This woman doesn’t have franchises spread out all across the world, or the resources of a multi-national corporation backing her; she operates out of a lone shopping cart in a single office building, peddling sandwiches she made with her own hands to ungrateful douchebags. Taco Bell has an awful lot of competitors: McDonalds, Subway, KFC, but they didn’t target any of them for this ad. Instead, they targeted a single, defenseless, sandwich entrepreneur. This is bullying, pure and simple, and the people Taco bell ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Was she cutting into your market share a bit too much there, Taco Bell?  You couldn’t bear to lose those twenty or so customers she pulls away from you each day, so you had to shift the full weight of your advertising budget behind a nation-wide push to tear away this kind woman’s lone source of income amidst a desperate, struggling economy? You are a sorry set of sons of bitches Taco Bell.

The radio version of this ad is even worse. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find it anywhere online, so let me describe it for you. Unable to show listeners the “sandwich lady,” the ad goes to great lengths to describe her as fiendishly as possible. In a tone dripping with derision, the narrator describes our hapless purveyor of mid-day provisions as some sort of demonic entity, stalking the halls of your office building, forcing her vile concoctions down your gullet, before having the audacity to snatch five dollars and fifty cents from your twitching, terrified fingers. No longer should you live in fear, assures the ad. Worry about that evil, foreign, small businesswoman no more, for Taco Bell, is here to help.

You know why her sandwiches don’t cost ninety-nine cents, Taco Bell? Because she’s not Taco Bell. She’s just a lady. That Taco Bell finds her worthy of their malice indicates a disturbing disconnect with reality on their part. It is a startling insight into the minds of those in charge of a major American enterprise—a petty, brutish lot, who feel they can push around whomever they see fit. Well, I for one, am taken aback with disgust, and will tolerate this behavior no longer! Let this woman be, Taco Bell, find someone your own size to mock, and leave the single serving sandwich sellers of this nation alone.


  1. Man $5.50 is a pretty dang nice price for a sandwich if you’re in a city. And the cart’s right there in the building.

    Friggin Taco Bell.

    Comment by Durandal — October 11, 2010 @ 6:52 pm

  2. Not only that but it’s rolled up right next to you? The convenience more than makes up for the “cost”.

    Comment by taekwondogirl — October 11, 2010 @ 7:36 pm

  3. More importantly, have you seen the ad where Mariano Rivera comes in to finish this guy’s Chalupa? It’s the best. And don’t insult Taco Bell. It’s awesome, and the sandwich lady was just abusing a captive marketplace.

    Comment by SrMeowMeow — October 12, 2010 @ 2:29 am

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