Okay, so what is Etsy? It’s a site that basically lets people who make interesting works of art sell them to other people. It’s a convenient method of making a bit of cash with your art-based hobby without actually needing to like, open your own jewelry store. As the site has grown, so has the selection. Up to and including a truly startling variety of adult stuff. What the market is exactly for elaborately crafted glass dildos, I don’t know. But it’s there!
You into some freaky stuff? Yeaaah I know the type. It’s weird to go into a shop, though, right? I mean like half the people there are giggling about how waaacky it is. Going in alone feels like you need to explain that no no no you have to understand our relationship….
Thank god for the internet! Sweet, sweet anonymity. You can just buy, ship, and stay completely out of eyesight range of any person anywhere ever!
Oh wait not if you ordered them on Etsy. Etsy has a searchable list with your username, and your real name, right there on it. Man you are stone-cold odd. Artisan Cthulu dildo made of glass recovered from burnt-down orphanages? What the hell, man. I thought I knew you.
See, Etsy recently decided apropos of absolutely nothing to make the user history of absolutely all buyers and sellers on the site searchable. That means that if you put your real name in the “First Name” and “Last Name” fields when you signed up for the site, now when you search for John Smith, “Liked the dildo sampler on Etsy” will come up on Google. They have refused to notify anyone of this change directly in any way. They allow you to change your username/realname after a two-day waiting period. And it’s not like that erases the history, it just means you can buy new things without people linking it to your real name. Here‘s a great forum post where they ignore basically all privacy concerns and focus on how great it is to be able to find people on a site that you want to fucking buy products from.
As I said with the Blizzard RealID program: stop trying to be Facebook everyone on the entire fucking internet. I don’t need Facebook to be Facebook, quite frankly. There is absolutely nothing appealing to me, and god I hope to the majority of people, about having our every purchase, like, dislike, movement, and comment trackable by every single person who knows our name. I mean I know some real fucking horrible people! I don’t want them to find out about my I mean your Cthulu dildo!
So anyways yeah might want to not buy shit from Etsy, and/or shut down your account. It’s the internet, someone else will come up with the same thing but less terrible in like a month.