Because you all need me to guide you through these troubled times, I appear bearing
Things you need to buy:
AI War: 3 dollars. Three fucking dollars. It’s as cheap as it will ever be. I don’t know if you know this, but AI War is the only RTS you will ever need. It’s a massive, sprawling single-player experience that’s unequaled by any other game in the genre. It’s a randomized cavalcade of interesting strategy every time you start it up. It’s fun with friends and a grand old time and FUCKING BUY IT jesus I hate you all
Stalker Shadow of Chernbyl: For $5 you get a game that’s almost unique in the genre. It’s a bit like the new Bethesda Fallout games, only it’s better because it’s Russian. It straddles the line between RPG-ish freeform game and linear shooter, but it does a damn good job of straddling that line. Fun, interesting, well worth $5. Get the Stalker Complete mod, which is easy to install, in order to crank the graphics up to pretty much modern.
Deus Ex: Look, just grab it, why not? It’s a great old game, a bit long in the tooth graphically but still good fun.
Monday Night Combat: It’s not TF2, it’s not League of Legends, it’s not quite well balanced enough to be a classic, but it is its own brand of really fun gameplay. Well worth the $3.74.
Things you could buy but whatever
Monkey Island: Fun series I suppose, but I mean, you probably know if you want this already
Shift 2 Unleashed: who cares
Wings of Prey: Middling reviews, but if you like plane games well, you only really get like 2 of these a decade right?
Civilization 5: I know it’s silly, but the balance/AI complaints have been so highlighted in this version that I feel like anything I do doesn’t “count”. If you like Civ games, you either have this or you’ll get it now.
King Arthur: I’m actually downloading the demo, because it looked kind of interesting. I’ll see if it’s worth $3.
Things only an asshole would buy
Call of Duty 4: $10 for what, a shitty single player campaign and a community of people who will immediately eviscerate you?
Guild Wars Trilogy: I’m not saying it’s irrelevant now that the sequel has been announced but I am saying don’t buy it because it’s irrelevant now that the sequel has been announced.
Beat Hazard: Argh, this game was not much fun when I tried the demo. Get Audiosurf to play with your music collection.